7 Khoon Maaf (2011): 7 Relationship Lessons for Men

7 Khoon Maaf (Seven Murders Forgiven) is not as serious as its title suggests. 

What we knew going in to see the film based on Ruskin Bond's "Susanna's Seven Husbands" was that it’s about a woman marrying seven times and ensuring each husband is dead by the time she’s through with him. What I didn’t expect was that the film could be fun.

Just when we ask ourselves why the woman cursed with such terrible luck and suffering from so much trauma doesn’t just leave each husband instead of killing him, we are reminded that the characters around the woman who support or conceal her killings ask themselves the same question. Unlike those of us watching, they aren’t mere spectators. What a dastardly bunch!

This film is sprinkled with several stereotypical portrayals of characters and their backgrounds or professions. But they are fairly easy to overlook because of an excellent group of actors who are well cast and in good form. Priyanka Chopra is excellent as the self-centric, egomaniacal, all-or-nothing babe who suffers from an irrational and immense sense of self-worth. We know all about the other actors – from Naseeruddin Shah to Irfan Khan, Anu Kapoor, Neil Mukesh, even John Abraham – each is true to his character.

Each experience we are part of is, to some degree, what we want to make of it. I’d like to remember the experience of watching this film by seven romantic relationship lessons men around the world can learn.

Guys (and gals) -- can you please help me add more?

1. Trust the Cat
She can be more loyal than you think.

So trust her and love her for that, and don't ever take her loyalty for granted.

From the Film

If you do, expect to be devoured like Panthor would!

From my Masters of the Universe Display

2. Don’t Hide Drugs in your Guitar
Don’t hide them anywhere. In fact, just don’t do drugs, man. If you don’t kill yourself, she will.

3. Separate the Physical from the Verbal 
Abuse of any kind isn’t sexy, even if you are among the smoothest talkers in Northern India (and the foreign language fan in you ought to know that is no mean feat). If you abuse, be prepared to be abused more than your words can express.

4. Study Akshay Kumar in Garam Masala 
Especially if you want to pull off more than one romantic relationship at once. Through three-fourths of that movie, Akki sure had it going. And they say he isn’t smart. Right.

5. Don’t Lose yourself to your Mouse
Unless you want to lose yourself to your cat (see #1 above).

6. If you Must Marry for Money...
Plan it out in excruciating detail, and consider being honest about it beforehand. You never know. Disposing of some money in exchange for love might not be a big deal if she’s disposed of people for love.

7. Not everything is Black or White
Most questions in the world have more than two potential correct answers. Understand this, and your life (and of those around you) will be far more enriched. I promise.

So there you have it. Yes, there are several gray areas all over the place in this film, too, but given the shady characters, that's fitting. I wouldn't recommend it unconditionally -- this film is not without flaws, and there are too few films I ever would recommend unconditionally anyway -- but for the cast, music, and performances, it wasn't not worth my time. Give it a shot if you don't find the prospect intolerable. I found it to be far less serious or disturbing than the plot suggests.

My Rating: 3 / 5 (Good)

My Classification: R (plot, language, drugs, sex, violence)

Music Rating: 4/5 (Excellent; my review here)


dunkdaft said...

The movie seemed pretty interesting at first, but soon gets repetitive because of same intentions and outset. There, otherwise master of darkness - VB, loses track. Yes, some comic moments were a relief.

By the way, tell me, among these seven, which is one track that you liked the most.

And oh, what a way to analyse each shaadi haan ! Bahot jaldi u'r learning lessons. ;) lol.

theBollywoodFan said...


I don't disagree about the repetetiveness in the film. The title gives away the outcomes too, so it's not exactly a cliff-hanger. Still, it worked for me, perhaps because it was the first Hindi film I'd seen in quite a while, and you know it doesn't take too much to please the Hindi film fan in me. :)

Ref: Tracks, let's see...I think *after* the film, it's 'Dil Dil Hai' with the John Abraham storyline. I think the integration was really quite powerful, the kind of music perfect for the plot and acting.

As for shaadi, yes, LOL, aap toh hain bade miyaan hum aap se hi inspiration lete hain boss. :D

Thank you so much for your comment -- it is much appreciated. Apologies for the delay in responding. It's become a trend of late, but I'm determined to work on it.